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| I feel like I'm about to snap what can I do!!!? Ok so ever since this one guy told me I look like a trainwreck and I look like a rodeo clown and he made fun of my chin and stuff like that I've felt horrible. I've had a horrible headache and stomach cramps and I feel like I'm about to throw up. I can't stop shaking and I feel like my head is going to explode... And just so you don't think this is me being shallow or anything it was just the hay that broke the camel's back... I was born with a penis, I always felt horrible about it, I realized I was transsexual when I was 14, My mother is having a hard time accepting it but was going to consent for my hrt this summer, my dad is 100% supportive, Just when I was about to go DCS found out that my dad gave me some sleeping pills that were his so they deemed both of my parents unfit and I'm now living with my aunt, I'm afraid I'll never be pretty and get a boyfriend, Plus since I'm a "felon" because I had a knife at school (which was really the schools knife and I had a right to use it because I was in culinary arts, I just took it out of the classroom and they charged me with theft under 500$ and possession of weapon at school) and since I broke probation by taking the pills and having marijuana and lortab in my system I'm placed on a suspended commitment so if I break the law between now and the time I'm 18 in any way I'll be sent off to a group home or a treatment center where I'll be grouped with a bunch of guys who will pick on me and threaten me so I'll end up running away and getting in more trouble and then killing myself, or killing myself before I get caught... So now since I can't get hrt I'm drinking a lot of caffeine and smoking a lot of nicotine just to keep my hormone levels down because I've had nightmares where I would wake up with a beard or a huge adams apple and I dont want that to happen. and to make things worse my first time with a guy which was recently he lied to me and said he had no problem with LGBT people and that he was bi and that he wouldn't consider it to be gay if we were together because he would consider me a female and treat me like a female and he made me think he liked me so I'd do stuff with him and when we were done he started being cruel to me and making fun of me and calling me a "******" and a "Shemale" and I really thought he liked me and now I feel like a stupid slut... Please just say something to cheer me up.. or just tell me I'm not that ugly. s817.photobucket.com/home/MsDenver/index |
| Denver, I'm starting to believe you are making all this stuff up. If not, then you are a lost cause as far as I'm concerned. I told you to quit taking drugs. You won't. I told you to stop hanging around with people that are a bad influence. You won't. I told you to stop spilling your guts to strangers online, and posting photos everywhere for people to see. You won't. EVERYONE in LGBT has given you good advice over the last year, and you just IGNORE IT ALL, so you know what... good luck to you. You apparently know what is best for you. My prediction is that you will either attempt suicide, or you'll drop out of school, become an addict, and start turning tricks to pay for your habit. Perhaps you'll even start taking black market hormones. Who knows. I guess some people have to make up those appalling statistics. It's a tragic story, but so far you've been doing everything to make it come true. Oh well, some people are just too dumb to save themselves. You can't say we didn't all try to help you. Enjoy your weed, cigs and coffee (which aren't going to do a damn thing to your hormone levels.) This is one time I have to just shake my head and wonder how some people can deny Darwinism. |
| LGBT: I feel like I'm about to snap? Ok so ever since this one guy told me I look like a trainwreck and I look like a rodeo clown and he made fun of my chin and stuff like that I've felt horrible. I've had a horrible headache and stomach cramps and I feel like I'm about to throw up. I can't stop shaking and I feel like my head is going to explode... And just so you don't think this is me being shallow or anything it was just the hay that broke the camel's back... I was born with a penis, I always felt horrible about it, I realized I was transsexual when I was 14, My mother is having a hard time accepting it but was going to consent for my hrt this summer, my dad is 100% supportive, Just when I was about to go DCS found out that my dad gave me some sleeping pills that were his so they deemed both of my parents unfit and I'm now living with my aunt, I'm afraid I'll never be pretty and get a boyfriend, Plus since I'm a "felon" because I had a knife at school (which was really the schools knife and I had a right to use it because I was in culinary arts, I just took it out of the classroom and they charged me with theft under 500$ and possession of weapon at school) and since I broke probation by taking the pills and having marijuana and lortab in my system I'm placed on a suspended commitment so if I break the law between now and the time I'm 18 in any way I'll be sent off to a group home or a treatment center where I'll be grouped with a bunch of guys who will pick on me and threaten me so I'll end up running away and getting in more trouble and then killing myself, or killing myself before I get caught... So now since I can't get hrt I'm drinking a lot of caffeine and smoking a lot of nicotine just to keep my hormone levels down because I've had nightmares where I would wake up with a beard or a huge adams apple and I dont want that to happen. and to make things worse my first time with a guy which was recently he lied to me and said he had no problem with LGBT people and that he was bi and that he wouldn't consider it to be gay if we were together because he would consider me a female and treat me like a female and he made me think he liked me so I'd do stuff with him and when we were done he started being cruel to me and making fun of me and calling me a "******" and a "Shemale" and I really thought he liked me and now I feel like a stupid slut... Please just say something to cheer me up.. or just tell me I'm not that ugly. s817.photobucket.com/home/MsDenver/index |
| Aw, Denver, you're beautiful! Don't listen to what those douchebags say. Even if you don't feel pretty, judging by your photos, you are, and you'll come to see it in your own time. It is great that your parents were supportive of you, even though some rough things have happened. Some people's parents go as far as completely disowning them and not speaking to them anymore. So, you DO have support, don't feel like you have no one! It seems like a lot of unfortunate things have happened to you lately but just keep holding out. Try not to get in trouble with the law anymore because that will put you in a situation that will be very, very hard to deal with. But at the same time, if you do get placed in a group home... maybe there is a special one they could send you to that would be more accepting? Whatever happens, do not ever, EVER give up. No matter what happens, you will get through it. I know I'm not coming from a similar situation at all. But I've been through some very difficult times lately and even if you don't believe it, you DO come through it... just persevere, and in the end you are stronger. It might not seem like it now, but all of this will turn you into a strong, successful woman once you are on the other side of it. Of course there are always going to be assholes who hate, but... with the bi guy you mentioned at the end... he only hates himself. Trust me. People have all kinds of issues of their own, and I'm not excusing them in any way, but I am pointing out that that might be the cause of their cruelty. You are NOT a slut. It's that guy who was the jerk. If you honestly believed he liked you, it was his fault for leading you on. And? Now you know more, you have more experience, and you can apply that to your future relationships. (Note: even nice guys can be jerks, so be careful!) It may not happen soon, but you WILL find someone who cares about you (romantically, that is). It will probably be different once you are out of high school, because many people in high school are petty and selfish. Not saying that doesn't happen once you're out of high school, but it seems to be less common. I hope you are turning 18 soon. Just keep counting down the days, you can make it! Is there any other way to get HRT? Could your current legal guardian sign for it? If so, that's something you should seriously consider discussing with her/him/them. Or have your parents discuss it with them. Just keep holding out and you will be all right, I believe in you! :) |
| How to deal with my guys porn? we have been together for 5 years have a 3 yo. his porn is and has been the most problem giving aspect of the entire relationship. it started when i was pregnant and before we would goto bed he would sneek in the bathroom look at his porn then come to bed with me wanting booty, of course that made me feel grate. after that i found he had went to the porn store when he was soposto to be at work because there was a bad and receipt along with movies ( gay guy, animal and shemale ) that disturbed me enough... but loving him i eventually tried to put it out my mind... i found a stack of like 100 - 150 pornos around he had hidden both in the bedroom and bathroom. after a long an rocky road i begin to think things were better the past year and a half , then last sun we had grate sex better than in a while. i got on the computer to play my games and long behold he had been looking at porn for 3 1/2 hours that morning...the most disterbing was 2 girls craping in a cup and eatting it then puking into eachothers mouths........nasty....... so that made it clear why he was so into sex that night. this makes me feel like **** and very disgusted with myself i dont even want to see myself clothed let alone naked and all he can say is theres no reason and it shouldnt matter, then ask me whats wrong. ... i tried to do some reaserch on why hes like that and whats wrong with me being bothered by it but all it says is " hes a guy that what guys do basically" but thats just going to say im nuts... i dont know why he has to have porn because he swears im sexy and tell me all the time but i think its just to get booty. if it was true he wouldnt need to look at porn to have good sex. he gets it like 4-5 times a week and thats with him working 40-50 hours a week too. why dose he have to think he with other girls? im not a porn star and would never wish to be i think its nasty and just really disgusting what people do. the whole situation makes me physically sick and to where i can be dead tired and not sleep because of it but he sleeps like a baby not caring. so the thing is i shouldn't care what he dose or who hes thinking about but i do!!! why should i not care, how could i not care, how can it not bother me ??/ seriously what do i do ???? please help??? am i crazy for thinking this way??? how can i stop caring i think mike missed the point... he looks at it before we have sex and thinks about those girls being me... he wishes i was them i was a whore and a slut and nasty as **** like the crap he watches no im not open to shemales no im not open to gay guys no im not into watching porn i was before but he took all that away from me im physically ill because of him and i cant even get myself off because im so disgusted with the fact that he has to pretend im someone else all because i got prego thats when it started. toys.. he has toys that he hides for himself. i dont like toys in me because its not natural . i dont like things in my *** and no i wont suck on him because i feel strongly hes been in guys asses so its not happening. so basicaly do it anyway forget everything like it never happened and get lots of nerv pills to keep me sane. because im nuts hes just a guy. i should be a whore and wish i was a porn star .... umm not happening |
| dreamsofacidrain@yahoo.com It's a private matter and I would love to share with you some experiences. My husband and I dealt with the similar issue.. and our marriage is now stronger than ever. I can share everything we had to do and everything we know now. Email me if you want. |
| Maekup tips?!?!?!?!??!?!?!? Ok just said that to get u here(sry) cuz nooone will answer my questionOk this stupid redneck shemale or whatevr the **** she is having a pussy little girl garage sale ( she's 11 ) and is prob gonna get money....I'm a designer snob so I blow everything on designner things......I get jealous easily I can get money whenever I want but I just spent all the money I had and awaiting a check in the mail.....I'm pissed that she might get some money because I want the stupid ***** to get evicted from her home and live on the streets with the rest of her family because she tries to b nice but just ends up trying to b a ***** and is always telling me wat a slut I am and how her parents don't like me and blah blah blah.......how can I deal with my jealousy problem and make her realize that I don't like her and that she's a worthless redneck I no I sound like a ***** but I can't help it I just getway to jealous |
| if u wanna fuel your jealousy, do the worse u can think off. if u wish otherwise, u have to learn to cool down, look at yourself again and again and ask - is this what i wanna be in 3 years, 9 years, 14years, 19 years down the road. the choice is yours. www.virtuesproject.com will show you the potentials u have and not realized yet. all the best. may your future be bright |
| I don't know what to do anymore? I'm clinically depressed, and have gone through three medications to no avail. I tried pot once, it didn't work, and I felt stupid for doing it (even though I know it's harmless) and I hated myself for it. Now I just live off of caffeine and monster but... every day I either hate my life or feel general apathy. I don't feel I belong anywhere. I guess I could classify myself as gay, because I can only imagine myself participating in submissive gay sex, but... I hate masculinity/manliness, dislike the male body, and have yet to meet a guy who I don't hate being around. I'm 'girlier' myself, with medium length blue hair, and I shave myself, and I want to wear makeup in public along with more 'female' clothing, though my parents have an extreme distaste for this and have feared that I'm gay or an mtf. The thing is, I don't want to be a woman, and I don't like makeup, skirts etc. because they make me feel like a girl- I don't see why they should only for females in the first place. I guess if I had to choose a guy to be with, he'd be like me. Definitely NOT masculine. Takes good care of himself, and goes through all beauty necessities- long hair, makeup, shaving etc. However, not a transvestite or 'shemale'- not somebody who gets a kink from looking like a female or actually is a female in a male body, but rather somebody who does 'girl' things because they just look damn good. It just seems that a guy like this who's interested in a guy like me doesn't seem to exist. Even if they did, and I came out and was fine with it and everything went well, I'm not sure if I'd want to keep on living. At the moment, I live for nothing... I just go through high school getting good grades despite minimal effort, game through the afternoon and night, then fall asleep to wake up again for the same routine. Nothing makes me happy. Plenty of people dislike me. My mother's very much a fundamentalist christian and my father's a very strong italian catholic- and both of them are scared and disgusted by the path I want to take. My grandparents on my mothers side have a strong discontent for how I look, and I dread seeing them. Guys at school insult me for it, girls are creeped out by it. There's a lot more I could describe, but not within 5000 characters. Basically, I am confused about my sexuality and feel there's nobody for me except creepy pervs who just want to wack off to me (and while my inner slut enjoys this, I don't.) I really don't feel there's much to live for... I enjoy nothing and am constantly chained by people around me from being who I am. I don't know what to do... any advice? |
| There are actually plenty of guys like yourself, you'd be surprised. Your just against the Macho Gender Role which is actually a good thing, I'm the same way sorta. You'd be surprised how many guys are lookin for the same thing you are sunshine. Remove Gender Roles They Do Nothing But Get People Harassed. Noted: If you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me ^_^ |
| :[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ serious people please? Okay, theres this really mean, well shallow girl i know for almost 2 years. I've worked hard trying to be her friend, such as giving her gum, doing her homework, helping her write several essays. but in return, she always snaps at me. she makes fun of me and she claims i have zits all over my face. I NEVER cussed at her because i'm not that type of person. she has a big pimple on her nose and she claims she is better than me. Just because she's older than me doesn't mean she has to boss me around. Other than pimples/ appearance, she always talks about my boobs -.- She says i'm Flatchested and no one wants me. i felt so offended and weak. she finished her judgement by calling me a shemale. I don't have that many friends because i'm not the "outgoing" type. i have several friends and think it's sad to only have one friend. should i ignore her like i always do or slap her and stand up for myself and show her how much of a slut she is?? im in the 8th grade though. |
| You shouldn't do her hw or even help that female dog.If she tells you off nd makes fun of you you have to stand up for yourself.Like if she even comes at you by saying "oh nobody wants you" or some other thing like that then u say "of course everybody wants you since your such a slut." Trust me hun i've been there and if i was you i wouldnt take such crap from that female dog.Plus don't worry that your flat-chested because your still growing just like evryone else. plus im in the 7th grade |